Some while ago, 'Two Brains' David Willets, in something of a tight corner, trawled up the antique use of the term 'want' to suggest that the phrase 'he wants our advice' didn't as mere One Brain types might have imagined convey a direct request to be told what we thought. Instead, as only truly superior types would appreciate, the interlocutor was actually in 'want of' and was merely requesting assistance in completing a particularly tricky thought process. They were, so to speak, in need of it.
Since those bracingly etymological days, now when people actually do want you to do something they say that they are in need of it.
True professionals who have been on the training course say: 'I need you to ...' at the drop of a hat. Step out of the car; listen to me; sit down; stand up; finish the job; even drop the gun.
It is most obviously a staple of the police procedural. A micro going on macro aggression of over tooled politeness which comes with barely concealed threat of consequence should one aver that there is in fact no need for the suggested action.
Even worse it is often conveyed in what might be termed the 'reasonable voice', carefully modulated so that the aggressor is not actually viewed as being aggressive.
Some might suggest that it represents a more straightforward way of managing a conversation where there is a formal relationship between the parties.
In fact to use the phrase is an act of verbal coercion. It is to put a veneer on contempt.
It is in short dehumanising.
How I yearn for Two Brains and a world in which one might rather fabulously say, perhaps in tricorn and a frock coat, I am in want, sir, of you stepping aside.
So, the only time I am going to use that phrase is to address it directly and in terms of a world in which I think it would feel entirely at home and in which tricorns and frock coats are sadly not de rigueur.
I need you to go to Room 101.
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